"God moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform..." William Cowper

Monday, August 16, 2010

Top Ten Nuisances of Running

After my hard, torturous run of fourteen miles last Friday, I decided something: I like walks. Nice, long, slow, relaxing, pain-free walks. In the spirit of this hopefully temporary attitude, I've compiled my own little list of the top ten things that make running, well...downright unpleasant.

1) Cramps. Any kinds, but particularly those in the abdomen that twist and pull until I'm sure only labor is more painful, and of course, those sharp ones in the toe of the little-piggy-that-had-roast-beef.

2) Breathing in the smelly exhaust of eighteen-wheelers.

3) Blisters.

4) Almost stepping on a freshly dead snake--or worse, a freshly alive one!

5) Dogs. Yes, I've been bitten in the derriere on one occasion. Ouch.

6) Deerflies getting caught in my thick ponytail.

7) Splashing red gatorade over my face and up my nose because I refuse to slow to a walk while gulping my allotted two sips per every ten minutes. (Drinking too much while running is one of the reasons nuisance #1 occurs in the first place.)

8) Direction-askers. I really do love to help people, but can't they see precious seconds are ticking away on my stopwatch while I stop to tell them how to get over-the-hill-and-through-the-woods?

9) Sweat. Especially the kind that drips into the eyes and burns.

10) Indecent thoughts such as maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be a terrible thing if this oncoming car swerved and hit me slightly...not enough to do serious damage, mind you, but enough to give me an excuse to stop this self-inflicted misery.

**Dislaimer To My Most Loyal Reader: Mom, only half-joking with #10. Don't worry. I promise not to throw myself in front of a moving vehicle.

So, that's about it. I'd go into the nuisances of writing, but right now my biggest nuisance is simply not finding the time I want to write.

Any runners out there? Is your biggest annoyance on my list?

P.S. Besides my five-year-old's bold outburst of "This is boring!" in the middle of their vows, my sister's wedding last Saturday went beautifully. :)



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