Monday, March 21, 2011
"Randy loves Liz."
"Justin wuz here."
Sentiments of love, sentiments of hate. Desperation. Some simply expressing a desire to be heard long after they are gone. Others wish to give their tidbit of wisdom, as in this picture. "Wash your hands before and after using the toilet."
We've all seen the typical graffiti on those bathroom stalls. And although I've never been a graffiti offender myself, I suppose I can see the appeal in it...
The author is anonymous, and forever safe from hurtful judgements.
The words will be read.
Unlike a daily newspaper or monthly magazine, these words will last. The writer has successfully left their one small mark on the world.
But do these words matter to the reader? Do they make a difference in even one person's life? Maybe...if you're name is Liz. ;)
As I ponder this, I can't help but realize that all my efforts, all my works--whether they be writing, being a good wife and mother, or helping my neighbor--are nothing but graffiti on a grimy bathroom stall if I'm not giving them over to my Savior. Only He can make them useful in the grand scheme of things.
For this reason, I dig deep into my heart. Deeper than I usually want to. What is my motivation for what I do? For writing? For trying so hard to be a "good" mother? A "good" wife? For helping others?
Sometimes I don't like the answers I get. And if you're not ready for my complete honesty, read no further.
Often I find myself performing these works not for my God--and sometimes not even for others--but for me. My heart can be ugly. I want to look good. I want the best...after all, don't I deserve it?
Bathroom graffiti. All of it.
What I deserve is not what my Savior has given me. He's given me grace. He's given me mercy. I am nothing if it weren't for Him. And when I fall, it's Jesus' arms that catch me and my undeserving efforts.
As I continue to wade through my motivations and seek to be faithful, I have hope that He will use my efforts--even if they are as inconsequential as bathroom graffiti.