"God moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform..." William Cowper

Monday, January 28, 2013

Pardon My Absence, I've Been Busy Wrestling With....

~a new job. Going back to work—even part-time—is a big adjustment after being a Stay-At-Home-Mom for the last seven years.

~my family’s new puppy, Howie. He’s a Standard Poodle and I’m completely surprised how quickly I’ve fallen in love with him.

~a broken computer. But by God’s grace and a very generous brother-in-law, I have a nearly new laptop. J

~the tragedies of life. Namely, those that happened in Newtown, CT. This was my biggest wrestling match yet. For some time, I let the sadness and despair for those families take me away into a black hole of nothingness. I let anxiety rule my life, questioned whether to send my kids to school ever again or set up homeschool headquarters birthed out of fear. I questioned God and His sovereignty.

But His grace is new every morning and He reminded me of His truths, of His ultimate control over every aspect of our life, of His promise to work things out for our good and His glory, no matter if we understand or not. I chose trust and faith and drank in God’s grace once again.

~my blog and other social media presences. I wrestled with my motivation for blogging, for posting on facebook and twitter. Why had I started all these things in the first place? What was the point? Well, the answer was obvious, to work toward my ultimate goal: becoming a published author. But is that good enough? Is pushing myself out of the writer slushpile with social media what God wants for me? Am I worried about me and my agenda, or God’s agenda? I can’t ignore the many friends I’ve made and wonderful people I’ve met, but can I ignore my impure motivations? I’m still wrestling with these things, and praying about them.

Meanwhile…I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you ever wrestle with any of these issues? If not, what have you been wrestling with lately? I’d be honored to pray for you!